Friday, January 8, 2010

Loneliness is easier than Love

I have recently come to realise that loneliness is so much easier to deal with than love.

I'm quite happy to be sitting at a cafe by myself with a coffee and a book; or have a meal at the hawker centre on my own and chat up friendly old couples who are ever so happy to chat to youngsters (relatively speaking) like me.

I look at them and I wonder: how on earth did you guys stick together? And how on earth do you still look so happy together after so many decades together when I have friends who are barely married for 2 years and thinking they would die if they had to live another day with their husband/wife?

I've been lonely for the last 3 years. There have been times when I did wish I had someone to hold my hand, give me a hug and be my pillar of strength and wisdom. But I always had my girlfriends. Though it's not the same, they'd nonetheless hold my hand, give me a nice big hug, smack me across the head and tell me to quit whining.

When I compare the pain of loneliness to the pain of losing love or giving up a love that's not meant to be, I think I'll take loneliness any day.

Even the worst bout of loneliness can never be worse than the sick, twisted pang in your stomach when you see him walk by and not be able to talk to him; the feeling of words choking your breath you want to throw up; the oppression of just being in the same room as him even though you don't see him.

Give me loneliness any day. At least with loneliness, you can control it with your head. Emotions are their own master. They just make fools of us all.


4 comments:

rem said...

so when u gonna get married so that u have someone to go pond-fishing with?

Mr SZ said...

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Carpediem said...

Wow really? That's really nice to know :) Thanks so much!

furz said...

Yes!
You are so right. I, too chose LONELINESS over LOVE for the past 8 years.
It's a good write up.
I'm sure there are still a lot out there who are afraid of being ALONE, especially women.